haiku + examen, part ii

(be sure to read part i and the haiku challenge first)

in 2005, at the end of each day, i would write a haiku and practice "the examen" of st. ignatius, a prayerful reflection over the day that leads you into observing God's presence in the moments of your daily life.  the haiku was a creative representation of my day, and the answers to the examen a more practical & spiritual one.  they would share a page each day.  i was introduced to the examen by my spiritual director/mentor at the time, a wise, beautiful catholic woman who is so much the woman i want to be someday, and one of the three or four most influential/inspirational people in my life.  every week i would go to kathy's house where we would share cups of tea, candles lit, and talk about a pairing of words so new to me:  life-giving.  

amazingly, until meeting kathy, i kind of thought that God's way was always the hard way, and that the thing i least felt like doing was probably what God wanted for me.  my heart came alive in a new way through our times together, through days of examining the things that brought me life.  looking back over my whole life in this way eventually helped me to discern my next steps.  patterns emerged & i began to see that the things that brought me joy were most often the very things that God seemed to want for me, too (gasp!).  eventually these realizations brought me back to josh.  so kathy, and st. ignatius, are kind of responsible for my marriage to josh.

here's a simplified version of the examen for anyone who might benefit from it, or who might want to practice it alongside the daily haiku :).

acknowledge by faith that you are in the presence of God, who loves you unconditionally.  breathe in that unconditional love of God.

remembering the moments of consolation (+):

ask God to bring your awareness to anything for which you are most grateful.  if you could re-live one moment, what would it be?  bask in the remembrance of the life you experienced at that moment.

ask yourself:

when did i feel most alive today?

when did i give and receive the most love?

when did i have the greatest sense of belonging to myself, others, God & the universe?

what was today's high point?

when did i feel happiest today?

for what am i most grateful today?

remembering the moments of desolation (-):

ask God to bring to your awareness something for which you are least grateful today.  examine what it was about that moment that made it difficult.  be with that experience, not trying to change or fix it, but holding it gently in the light of God's forgiveness & love.

ask yourself:

when today did i feel life draining out of me?

when today did i give and receive the least love?

when today did i have the least sense of belonging?

what was today's low point?

when did i feel saddest?

for what am i least grateful today?

close with a prayer of thanksgiving