father, son, stars

we were taking photos today to commemorate josh's last day of beardhood...

(who knows, though--he's been saying this for weeks! shall we take a vote? beard or no beard? even if public opinion hasn't been known to sway josh...)

but aside from the beard, can't you see the father-son resemblance in these photos?

a brief history of the past week

shepherd is two weeks old! we certainly are enjoying his presence in our family. he is the sweetest little boy. right now he is mostly sleeping and eating, but we love the evening time the most, when he is alert for his longest stretch, and we don't need to protect his head from his rowdy sister heron! this is the time when we really get to know him, to talk to him, study his face, watch for his smile.

here's a glimpse of the past week with shepherd (& heron, too, of course!)...

: day 6 :

(we think shepherd looks a little elfin here, with almond eyes & turned up nose like josh, & slightly pointed ears)

: day 7 :

(getting to know our friends/neighbors, jans & robin & juniper)

: day 8 :

: day 9 :

: day 10 :

(hannah loves sheh-pud)

: heron on the merry-go-round with dad :

(heron is spending these recent mornings outside with dad, taking walks & playing at the park, while i rest & hang out with shepherd)

: day 13 :

(thanks, robin, for these adorable shoes!)

guest book

this time around we decided to document visitors to our baby's early days. a few days before shepherd's birth we were continuing to create + hang art up on our walls to finally feel settled here, & i painted a star backdrop for guest portraits. lighting was tricky, so some of the photos didn't turn out, but it's been a fun activity!

: the guest book table :

(we'll paste the photos beside the entries)

and shepherd's first visitors, mostly in order of appearance

: dad :

: andee :

: kristin, randy, and oliver blue (heron's good buddy) :

: aunt alli :

: aunt teal :

: mom & shepherd with julia & sydney rosen :

: nana ramsdale :

: michael, bethany, & soraya sethi :

: drew & sara :

: mom :

: the ramsdales :

: midwife pamela :

family visits

: grandma marti, aka "grahmin" (heron's word) :

: auntie teal & auntie alli :

: grandma ramsdale, aka "nana" :

: lucas, representing the jeff ramsdales, holding his only male cousin :

home birth / midwives

giving birth at home was an entirely positive experience for me & josh, & we are so thankful that we had the opportunity to experience birth in this way with our second child. heron was born in a hospital, though we were assisted by a midwife and a hospital team that was supportive and dedicated to our decision to do things "naturally". i am thankful that my first birth occurred in a hospital (it was a positive experience, as well!)--it gave me the confidence to make the decision to have shepherd at home. i had seen what my body could do, knew that i was a fast and efficient birth-giver, and knew that i would be a good candidate for home birth.

: checking in with pamela, the night of shepherd's birth :

: hope at work :

(photo appropriately cropped for internet publication!)

not only was the birth at home, but many of the prenatal visits were at home, too. i LOVED this. josh & heron could be a part of the meetings, & the midwives were able to get more of a feel for our home environment + who we are. visits were often two hours long, and the attention they gave our family was stunning.

: first postpartum check-up, 4:30 a.m. :

: one week weight check with monica :

: vitals check :

: hope, what a star! :

these ladies are SO good at what they do... i had three midwives because hope, our original midwife, was possibly going to be gone during the actual birth--touring in hawaii as a cajon player for her band! so i met with all three of them, knowing that pamela, and either hope or monica, would be present for the birth. as it turned out, all three of them were able to attend our birth. hope was still in portland when shepherd arrived, and we're so glad she was! she was an AMAZING support to me during labor & delivery!

first days of four

: mother & son :

(that exhilarating first moment)

: first family portrait :

(heron slept through the whole thing! i started having sparse, painless contractions around her bedtime. the midwives arrived at midnight, right when "real" labor started. shepherd was born at 3:30, & the midwives left at 7:00 just as heron was waking up to a new sibling...)

: father son :

: brother sister :

(all heron's practice reading to her "babies" is already coming in handy)

welcome, little lamb!

with great joy we announce the birth of our son, SHEPHERD ZURI GARRELS!

shepherd was born at home on thursday, february 11 at 3:36 a.m., weighing the same at birth as his older sister heron--7 pounds + 10 ounces, measuring 21 inches long. giving birth in our home was a beautiful, peaceful experience. we were assisted by three midwives, and little shepherd was born underwater in a tub in our living room. we praise the Lord for a safe & natural birth, as hoped for, but even more for the arrival of this beautiful, perfectly healthy baby boy!

he is the sweetest thing, and we are in awe.

often we can catch a glimpse of a child’s personality, and even purpose, within the first moments after birth, often even in utero. we had been sensing something gentle in this child, something nurturing, pastoral. thus, the name “shepherd” occurred to us as we pondered our faith’s forefathers, especially Christ. “zuri” was a more recent epiphany, but we like the sturdiness it implies as a balance to the gentle images of a shepherd. zuri, “my rock” comes from the hebrew tzuriel, “the Lord is my rock”. blessings to you, little one, as you grow into your name! may we as parents provide the loving, supportive environment you need to grow into the man you are meant to become!

our hearts are filled with gladness as we become a family of four. thank you for your love & support as our friends in this journey.

before we're four...

(a promised family update)

josh: 29 years

josh is now sporting a fatherly beard while wearing increasingly skinny pants (the pants mostly thanks to his ongoing sponsorship by jedidiah--free clothes!). since returning from christmas he has been enjoying a prolific time of music-writing. lyrics still to come, but he’s been gathering lots of material for two new projects. thanks to the internet he’s been able to collaborate long-distance with other musicians so he’s already got some drums, bass, banjo and accordion to work with, along with some great samples.

he’s been averaging about one away-from-home show a month since moving to portland, but he’ll just do a few local shows for the first few months after the baby is born. God has really provided for us, so we’ll be okay not doing any significant gigs in the coming months. josh can take a bit of a paternity leave; i expect he & heron will spend alot of time together in coming weeks! he can always work on lyrics in his head while he & heron are out & about!

josh should probably be writing his own update. i don’t know what he would choose to share. spiritually, it seems like he’s entered into a new season, one that he’s been waiting for for months (or years?). his most recent gig took him to redding, california, home of bethel church, pastored by bill johnson. he’s been listening to bill’s sermons for years, & has felt very encouraged & inspired by what is happening at bethel, particularly through their school of ministry. josh returned from his trip to bethel feeling very refreshed, his faith renewed. we believe that God will have alot of exciting new things to teach us through our ongoing relationship with the folks at bethel.

heron: 20 months

heron has been practicing being a mama herself. she seems to have a bit of an understanding that things are changing around here. for months she’s been touching my belly, saying, “baby! baby!” and kissing it sweetly. now she is sorting through the baby’s clothes & trying them on to check for fashionability. she then clothes her stuffed animals with them, places them in the bassinet & sings to them, rocking them to sleep. she has taken to calling all of her stuffed animals her babies, and constantly keeps the whole lot of them at her side. (she won’t even go upstairs now without carrying all eight of them with her!). she also lines them all up on the couch & reads to them.

heron is currently into building & playing inside forts & houses. every table, pile of pillows & blankets, or set of curtains becomes a house, and she brings her babies & books (& usually mom or dad, too) inside with her. she is also learning her colors, even sorting her blocks into like colors.

last week i caught heron looking at herself in the mirror saying, “no, mine!” over & over with a sinister smile. thankfully she is also learning the word “yes,” even “yes, please,” though she is already informalizing it into “yeah...”

she has started referring to herself as “hannah” and has caught on to the fact that josh & i have names other than “dada” and “mama”. thus, we are now at times “josh” and “mitchy” to her.

she has been in a continuous linguistic leap for months now, & her sentences are becoming more complete. tonight, for instance, she said, “hannah toot bathtime dada” which of course means “heron tooted in the bathtub with dad.”

heron is growing up SO fast, becoming more little girl than baby every day. this is sad to me sometimes, but i am very thankful that she is as grown up as she is now that we have another baby joining the family! i think she will be an incredible older sister, and will really benefit from having a live-in playmate.

michelle: 40 weeks

yesterday was my due date. these 9+ months have gone so fast & slow all at once. in many ways my body seems hit harder by pregnancy this time than the last (lots of migraines, etc), but in many ways it’s been easier. chasing a toddler around all day has kept me distracted & active. aside from a bad cough that i was battling for five weeks, my body feels healthy & ready to birth. heron & i take daily walks & have been going over to the community center several times a week to run around when it’s too yucky for outside play.

i do feel like i’ve been hibernating for the past few months, since our move to portland. very alive & active within the context of our nuclear family, but a bit out of contact with the rest of the world. it’s been a time of much introspection, and even a new phase of mourning over the loss of my dad now that we’re in our own living space. i’ve really been able to take some time that my heart has long needed.

even though this is my second child, i’ve actually had more fears to battle this time. mostly, these are irrational, & unrelated to anything i experienced with heron’s birth. heron’s birth was perfect in many ways. no complications besides tearing, and i was able to deliver naturally, just as i’d hoped, in 5 hours, a week early. at the end of it i felt like a hero, able & ready to conquer the world. but with this pregnancy, for months i was almost paralyzed by fear. fear that i would die, or that the baby would die, struck with the realization that birth-giving is a willing enlistment into a war, & there’s no guarantee of survival. i wasn’t feeling as connected to the child this time around, which convinced me that it was because he or she wouldn’t survive. or i’d convince myself that since i couldn’t imagine my life beyond the birth, that meant i was the one that wasn’t going to make it. the root of both of these things was a very skewed perspective of God & myself, &, i think, the role of suffering in our movement towards glory.

but then i had a really amazing week (early january?), full of breakthroughs, & i finally, truly, felt free from fear. really...FREE. God has very tangibly taken my hand & heart, & filled my mind with His promises and peace. it’s been months of prayer & journaling, & crying with josh. but i really think this pregnancy has been used to uncover alot of lies i’ve believed about myself & my value to God. with both pregnancies now, He has used these 9 months to bring about new growth in my own soul, new levels of healing and grace. today i feel so ready to embrace this new little life into our family...

on a lighter note, the past few months for me have also been about “nesting” i suppose. we have finally gotten entirely settled into our house, including my studio. for the past two years many of my art/craft supplies have been in storage, so having my supplies out of boxes, organized, and having a space that i can close the door on has been a huge boost to my productivity + sanity. now, even if i only have 5 free minutes, i can quickly jump into & out of a project.

josh & i have also put the finishing touches on the other spaces in the house, finally hanging up art, completing the decoration of heron’s room, & making our own room feel more welcoming to us (ah, what a difference the removal of the pile of amazonian blow guns, bows & arrows, didgeridoos, and trick kites can make to a space!).

we've been sick

it's been a long month of sickness in the garrels household. i've had a deep & enduring cough since the end of december which at one point got so bad that i drove myself to urgent care to make sure it wasn't pneumonia. i'm sure like the rest of you i've been over-prescribed antibiotics over the years, so this time i was determined to fight back naturally, even if it dragged out my sickness. & after 5 weeks, i won! finally, last night before bed as i was going back over my day i realized i couldn't remember coughing once. i have been hoping & praying that the cough would be gone before the birth so that i would have my full strength to give to birth-giving.

at this moment, heron is still sick with a cold + bad cough, & josh just came down with a sinus infection... so, baby garrels, maybe you should wait a few more days to arrive?

still, it's been a good month. i'll do another post with an update on me, josh, & heron individually. but as a family we've enjoyed lots of togetherness. we've recognized that this is the last month as a family of three, and we've poured lots of love into each other (interspersed with some "terrible two" moments, heron has been such a delight!). it's been a vital time for both me & josh as this month we've been able to dive further into embracing our identities as parents (after being parents for twenty months now... maybe this will be an ongoing process?) and our spirits feel much more ready to welcome another child into our family.

due to sickness + lack of touring it's been a fairly quiet & house-bound month, though we had the pleasure of hosting josh's parents mike + marti (or, as heron calls them, "grahpin" and "grahmin"), and trace + becca bundy twice. we love visitors, & look forward to this coming month as friends & family arrive to greet the littlest garrels!