a year ago today i was trying to mingle the grief with the expectancy in my final weeks of pregnancy. 6 weeks of mourning until little heron, a healer, arrived. 6 weeks of sitting on the deck by the mississinewa, stitching & mourning & hoping, the sorrow & the joy tangled up in the jacaranda art. oh, the mourning was not (& is not) gone, but with new life a little light was always peering into the darkness. sometimes with spread fingers, but always peeking in.
jeff & cris, lucas & wren have been here for the week. tonight after tucking the children in bed we will sit by the fire, smoking pipes and drinking port in dad's honor.
my brother and his family will leave in the morning. it has been a week of gathering, remembering, sorting. i try not to think about how different gathering times are without him here. but every time i can't help it--the life of the party is missing. conversations are quieter, tamer, cleaner. tonight i miss how inappropriate he could be (though yes, he could be calm & contemplative, too). how later in life he didn't seem to care what anyone thought of him. how he often offended. i like this about him now, so much, and how i, i think, might even hope to shock or offend people a little more often. cheers to you, dad!
7 comments:
Simply beautiful, Michelle. I hope the fire was sweet and the remembering sweeter...
I can almost see the moment in my minds eye the smoking of pipes and port and ever so thankful that you all were together..May the God of all grace continue to comfort each of you...What a life legacy your father has given...praying for you.
wow. has it really already been a year? i remember being so thankful to experience this with you in whatever distant way that i did. God Bless your family and thank you for sharing.
I didn't realize that yesterday was the anniversary of your father's passing, but Josh's song "The Original Spacefan" came up on my iTunes yesterday. So, I listened with fond memories. :)
Thank you for this beautiful post. I love the image of you smoking pipes and drinking port by the fire... And I think we could all use a dosage of not caring what others think of us. sending lots of love - looking forward to seeing you soon! Love, beCcA
yes. all i can say is yes.
Thanks for sharing, Michelle. I'm glad you were able to spend time with your family, remembering and enjoying the memories.
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